Baptism: Excuses for Not Getting Baptized

Why do some Christians not get baptized? Here are some of the reasons I have heard.

“I don’t see the big deal. It isn’t that significant.”

Some Christians haven’t been baptized simply because they have never been taught about it. They go to a church that does not have a high view of baptism or a rich understanding of it. Because the community marginalizes baptism, the individual does too. The fault here, I think, is more on the church for failing to instruct someone about the importance of baptism. The solution? Explain a rich, deep understanding of baptism to them and encourage them to do it.

“I’m waiting until I’m more mature in my faith so that I know what I am doing more.”

I hear this all the time, especially among students, but also in adults. I can understand, at least, the motive for this. For someone who wants to understand and value baptism rightly, it makes sense that they might want to have a little more time growing and learning before doing it. Baptism is not a light thing, it is a big deal. I wouldn’t want someone to rush into it without taking it seriously.

And yet, at the same time, I think this thinking really misunderstands baptism. It is the same reasoning that people use to justify living with their boyfriend or girlfriend but waiting to get married. They want to grow, see how it will work, make sure they really mean it, have a more mature relationship, etc…and then they’ll get married. But this is not how it works. Getting married is the foundation and the commitment that forms the context for a lifelong relationship to grow. The same thing is true of getting baptized. When you first get married, the truth is, you don’t know your spouse as well you think you do. You spend your whole life getting to know them better and getting closer to them, just ask someone who has been happily married after 25 or 30 years. Your relationship can always get close and richer and deeper. Getting married is what makes this growing, deepening relationship possible. This is even more true with God. You will always have a growing understanding of who he is and what it means to be in relationship with him. Your baptism is the supposed to be the start of this growing relationship. It is the foundational commitment that creates the context for your relationship to God.

The truth is, when you get baptized, you cannot fully understand the commitment you are making, just like someone can never realize what the commitment of marriage really means until they start living it. For Christians, we learn the meaning of baptism over the course of our lifetime. Every week, when we hear the Word preached and share the Lord’s Supper, we hear again the promises God made to us in our baptism. Every day, when things are difficult or easy, joyful or discouraging, we learn what it means to be committed to Christ for the long haul. The truth is, we won’t really understand baptism until we are raised from the dead and united with Christ for eternity. We must grow in to our baptism.

Part of the symbolism of baptism is that you are being initiated into a mystery bigger than yourself and beyond your understanding. If we wait until we “really understand it” or “really mean it,” we will never get baptized. Plus, if we fully understood what it really meant to be “united with Christ in his death” at the start, we might not do it. The life baptism requires would seem too difficult, and no one would do it.

That is why I tell people, if you know enough to commit your life to Jesus and mean it, you know enough to be baptized.

“I’m afraid of speaking in front of people.”

Baptisms are public. They are for any and all to see. They are a commitment before the world and the Church that we are publicly accountable to. Because of this, a real hindrance for some people is stage fright. This is especially true for school-age children who want to be baptized. It is even harder in my church where people being baptized usually share the story of how they came to faith. This sharing of a “testimony” is not required anymore than a history of a couple’s courtship is necessary at a wedding. However, it can be a good way for someone to express their love and commitment to Christ. All that is needed, though, is a confession of faith in Christ. Baptisms do not require major public speaking. Most churches have some formula (similar to the written wedding vows that people use when getting married) to help people express their trust in God. I think this is good and helpful

There are many who want to have a private baptism. I think this is inappropriate and a misunderstanding of what baptism means. Baptism is a public commitment to God. That is part of the significance. Commitment to Christ is a public stance, not a private one:

For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. (Mark 8:38)

Not wanting to be baptized publicly is like not wanting to get married because you don’t want to say your vows publicly. Plus, we have to remember that baptism not only joins us with Christ, but also with the Church. This is an event that community-oriented. It is not a private, one-on-one encounter with God. You are entering into the covenant that God has with his people, not with individual Christians, but with the Church. Baptism makes you a part of God’s covenant people.

“I don’t want to look stupid when I get wet in front of people.”

Not kidding. I have heard this a lot. People don’t want to get baptized because they will look stupid when they come out of the water. They don’t want their hair, make-up, etc. messed up with everyone looking at them. They don’t want to have to wear a white robe or wet clothes or a bathing suit in front of people. They don’t want to sputter and wipe the water from their face when they come back up. Protecting their image is more important than getting baptized.

I think Anne Lamott has a good answer to this. She says:

Christianity is ”about” water: ‘Everyone who thirsteth, come ye to the waters.’ It is about baptism, for God’s sake. It’s about full immersion, about falling into something elemental and ”wet”. Most of what we do in worldly life is geared toward our staying dry, looking good, not going under. But in baptism, in lakes and rain and tanks and fonts, you agree to do something that’s a little sloppy because at the same time it’s also holy, and absurd. It’s about surrender, giving in to all those things we can’t control; it’s a willingness to let go of the balance and decorum and get ”drenched”.

Baptism is not about preserving your image. It is about having your image transfered, so that your reputation and fate is bound up with Christ. Looking foolish and giving up the right to control how you are perceived is part of what it means to be a Christian.

“I’m not ready to make the commitment.”

Frankly, this is the only good answer for why someone shouldn’t get get baptized. If you understand what baptism is, are ready to commit to Jesus for life, what should stop you from doing it? Nothing. When it comes down to it, the question of whether or not to get baptized is the same question as whether or not you want to get married: “Am I ready to make this commitment?” If you are not committed to a lifelong, sacrificial, committed relationship with Christ and his people, baptism is not for you. But, if this is the reason you don’t want to get baptized, you also have to be honest and say, I am not really fully into my relationship with Christ. You can be considering it. You can be approaching it. But if you aren’t ready for the commitment that baptism symbolizes, are you really ready for the commitment that Christ requires? But, if you are ready for this kind of relationship, what is holding you back?