Baptism: Excuses for Not Getting Baptized

Why do some Christians not get baptized? Here are some of the reasons I have heard.

“I don’t see the big deal. It isn’t that significant.”

Some Christians haven’t been baptized simply because they have never been taught about it. They go to a church that does not have a high view of baptism or a rich understanding of it. Because the community marginalizes baptism, the individual does too. The fault here, I think, is more on the church for failing to instruct someone about the importance of baptism. The solution? Explain a rich, deep understanding of baptism to them and encourage them to do it.

“I’m waiting until I’m more mature in my faith so that I know what I am doing more.”

I hear this all the time, especially among students, but also in adults. I can understand, at least, the motive for this. For someone who wants to understand and value baptism rightly, it makes sense that they might want to have a little more time growing and learning before doing it. Baptism is not a light thing, it is a big deal. I wouldn’t want someone to rush into it without taking it seriously.

And yet, at the same time, I think this thinking really misunderstands baptism. It is the same reasoning that people use to justify living with their boyfriend or girlfriend but waiting to get married. They want to grow, see how it will work, make sure they really mean it, have a more mature relationship, etc…and then they’ll get married. But this is not how it works. Getting married is the foundation and the commitment that forms the context for a lifelong relationship to grow. The same thing is true of getting baptized. When you first get married, the truth is, you don’t know your spouse as well you think you do. You spend your whole life getting to know them better and getting closer to them, just ask someone who has been happily married after 25 or 30 years. Your relationship can always get close and richer and deeper. Getting married is what makes this growing, deepening relationship possible. This is even more true with God. You will always have a growing understanding of who he is and what it means to be in relationship with him. Your baptism is the supposed to be the start of this growing relationship. It is the foundational commitment that creates the context for your relationship to God.

The truth is, when you get baptized, you cannot fully understand the commitment you are making, just like someone can never realize what the commitment of marriage really means until they start living it. For Christians, we learn the meaning of baptism over the course of our lifetime. Every week, when we hear the Word preached and share the Lord’s Supper, we hear again the promises God made to us in our baptism. Every day, when things are difficult or easy, joyful or discouraging, we learn what it means to be committed to Christ for the long haul. The truth is, we won’t really understand baptism until we are raised from the dead and united with Christ for eternity. We must grow in to our baptism.

Part of the symbolism of baptism is that you are being initiated into a mystery bigger than yourself and beyond your understanding. If we wait until we “really understand it” or “really mean it,” we will never get baptized. Plus, if we fully understood what it really meant to be “united with Christ in his death” at the start, we might not do it. The life baptism requires would seem too difficult, and no one would do it.

That is why I tell people, if you know enough to commit your life to Jesus and mean it, you know enough to be baptized.

“I’m afraid of speaking in front of people.”

Baptisms are public. They are for any and all to see. They are a commitment before the world and the Church that we are publicly accountable to. Because of this, a real hindrance for some people is stage fright. This is especially true for school-age children who want to be baptized. It is even harder in my church where people being baptized usually share the story of how they came to faith. This sharing of a “testimony” is not required anymore than a history of a couple’s courtship is necessary at a wedding. However, it can be a good way for someone to express their love and commitment to Christ. All that is needed, though, is a confession of faith in Christ. Baptisms do not require major public speaking. Most churches have some formula (similar to the written wedding vows that people use when getting married) to help people express their trust in God. I think this is good and helpful

There are many who want to have a private baptism. I think this is inappropriate and a misunderstanding of what baptism means. Baptism is a public commitment to God. That is part of the significance. Commitment to Christ is a public stance, not a private one:

For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. (Mark 8:38)

Not wanting to be baptized publicly is like not wanting to get married because you don’t want to say your vows publicly. Plus, we have to remember that baptism not only joins us with Christ, but also with the Church. This is an event that community-oriented. It is not a private, one-on-one encounter with God. You are entering into the covenant that God has with his people, not with individual Christians, but with the Church. Baptism makes you a part of God’s covenant people.

“I don’t want to look stupid when I get wet in front of people.”

Not kidding. I have heard this a lot. People don’t want to get baptized because they will look stupid when they come out of the water. They don’t want their hair, make-up, etc. messed up with everyone looking at them. They don’t want to have to wear a white robe or wet clothes or a bathing suit in front of people. They don’t want to sputter and wipe the water from their face when they come back up. Protecting their image is more important than getting baptized.

I think Anne Lamott has a good answer to this. She says:

Christianity is ”about” water: ‘Everyone who thirsteth, come ye to the waters.’ It is about baptism, for God’s sake. It’s about full immersion, about falling into something elemental and ”wet”. Most of what we do in worldly life is geared toward our staying dry, looking good, not going under. But in baptism, in lakes and rain and tanks and fonts, you agree to do something that’s a little sloppy because at the same time it’s also holy, and absurd. It’s about surrender, giving in to all those things we can’t control; it’s a willingness to let go of the balance and decorum and get ”drenched”.

Baptism is not about preserving your image. It is about having your image transfered, so that your reputation and fate is bound up with Christ. Looking foolish and giving up the right to control how you are perceived is part of what it means to be a Christian.

“I’m not ready to make the commitment.”

Frankly, this is the only good answer for why someone shouldn’t get get baptized. If you understand what baptism is, are ready to commit to Jesus for life, what should stop you from doing it? Nothing. When it comes down to it, the question of whether or not to get baptized is the same question as whether or not you want to get married: “Am I ready to make this commitment?” If you are not committed to a lifelong, sacrificial, committed relationship with Christ and his people, baptism is not for you. But, if this is the reason you don’t want to get baptized, you also have to be honest and say, I am not really fully into my relationship with Christ. You can be considering it. You can be approaching it. But if you aren’t ready for the commitment that baptism symbolizes, are you really ready for the commitment that Christ requires? But, if you are ready for this kind of relationship, what is holding you back?

Palm Sunday in 3rd Grade

Let us ignore for a moment the fact that Palm Sunday is a fairly misunderstood holiday. (The crowds at the triumphal entry were cheering Jesus on as a nationalistic savior, clearly misunderstanding him and worshiping him as something he wasn’t. This makes children’s Palm Sunday parades kind of ironic as part of our worship services.) I have two stories about Palm Sunday.

Story #1

Because I teach 3rd grade Sunday school, I got to participate in the Palm Sunday parade. We have about an 4-1 ratio of boys to girls in our class, so things are always high energy in our room. But today was particularly rowdy, even before the palm branches were passed out. When we did get our palm branches, I went around and tried to get the kids into it. A lot of kids are shy and not that enthusiastic when they walk through the adult worship service. So, I went around and made sure my kids would “wave it like they mean it!” We all practiced waving our branches in big, sweeping motions over our heads, instead of just shaking it a little down by our sides. We were all lined up in the hall way, and I was getting the kids psyched up to go upstairs to the main worship service. The energy, and therefore noise, was high. But it was for a good cause, we were going to honor Jesus the King.

Then, the 2nd graders came out to the hallway, and one of the 2nd grade teachers did not enjoy our enthusiasm. I don’t think she saw that I was the one stirring up the kids, so she yelled out, “Boys and girls! In second grade we talked about why we are doing this. We are doing this to worship Jesus. And that means you have to calm down and be quiet!”

It took a lot of effort for me not to yell back, “You are in for a rude awakening in the Kingdom, lady! I have a feeling the worship is going to be pretty loud.” Or even quote Jesus at her, since when someone told his students to shut up on Palm Sunday, he said: “I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.” (Luke 19:40)

Story #2 

After the parade, I was teaching table time. I was telling the story of the triumphal entry. I told the kids how not everyone was happy that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. I told them how the Pharisees wanted the people to stop cheering. And how Jesus refused to stop his disciples from celebrating. In the course of the story, I was paraphrasing Jesus and said, “Jesus said, ‘I’m not going to tell my followers to shut up. If they shut up, the rocks will worship me!’” That was a mistake. As soon as I said, “Shut up!” The kids all gasped and one kid said, “He said the S-Word!” And to think, their Sunday School teacher didn’t just say the S-Word, but Jesus did.

A Visit from My Pastor

This year, our pastor, Ted, is trying something new with the leaders in Ecclesia. He had us all review the past year from the perspective of our church’s mission statement. He asked us to evaluate how we were doing in multiple areas of Christian practice, from prayer to finances to serving people in need to church attendance to befriending people we didn’t like. Then, Ted met with each leader to talk over their evaluation and to make resolutions for the next year. It was the first time he had done anything like that, and I thought it was a strong step in the right direction.

It reminded me of the practice of older ministers, especially the Puritans (ala Richard Baxter’s Reformed Pastor) whose main responsibilities were preaching and oversight of worship, along with regular visitation of families to assist parents in leading their homes in discipleship. The pastor would visit every one a couple times per year to see how they were doing in pursuing Christ in obedience.

For many of us who have attended large churches (like mine), the idea of a pastor who actually asks you to tell him how you are doing is a foreign one. The pastors just can’t oversee that many people in such a personal way. So, when Ted this is, it was new experience, both challenging and welcome.

A few of the things that he said and asked about really struck me and hit home. I share them with you here.

He challenged us to fight boredom with mission.

I expressed to him how over the past year, I had felt a strong feeling of boredom, both in my small group experience as well as my participation in public worship. Other than my growing love for the Lord’s Supper, my experience with on Sundays had been somewhat flat. He responded very wisely. He said that he had heard that complaint from a number of people, and all of them were the same kind of person. They were the people who had grown up in the church, who knew a lot about the faith, and were capable of contributing to the ministry of the church. But when he asked them how often they interacted with non-Christians or people in need, they usually hadn’t been doing much of that. He then said, “Clayton, if you are constantly being challenged and pushed by non-Christians that you are trying to minister to, you won’t be bored. There is nothing boring about it!” Those wise words cut to the heart. I spend a lot of time around Christians. I know far too few non-Christians, and those that I do know, I do not interact with frequently. People who come to Ecclesia who do not believe or are on the fence, I hardly know. I have not made enough effort to connect with them. I am off mission, so it makes sense if I am bored.

He challenged to us to move from fellowship to hospitality.

Related to this, Ted also pushed Michelle and I in the area hospitality. Our natural inclination is to have people over for dinner and to invite people into our home. We have tried to make this a priority from the start of our marriage. Michelle is an excellent hostess, and because of my family background in foster care, it is natural for us to do this. But, we easily slip into the pattern of inviting over people that we already know fairly well. We like to have friends over. Who doesn’t? But, Ted challenged us in this. Just like Jesus teaches in Luke 14:12-14, we need to not invite just our friends, but people we don’t know well and people in need. As Ted said it, when you have over people you know, it is fellowship. When you have over people you don’t know, it is hospitality. When we move into our next apartment in a month or so, this is will be one of our priorities.

He challenged us on our finances.

I also liked that he asked me about my finances. He asked how generous we were being and how consistently we were giving, not just to the church, but in general. It is something most pastors avoid. People often consider it rude or off-limits, and as a result we have a lot of church-goers who are never challenged by what Christ says about this area of their lives. But, in I Timothy 6:17-19 Paul instructs pastors to talk to their people about this. He tells Timothy:

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Paul was telling pastors that it is their responsibility to talk to their people about their financial life, especially people who have money to spare. For pastors this is difficult to do, because people resist being challenged in this area, because, as Jesus says, money is tied to our deepest heart-issues. (Matthew 6:21) But, for the sake of those of us with money “taking hold of the life that is truly life,” I am thankful that our pastor will ask about this.

He challenged us to cherish the Scriptures.

Ted also issued a challenge to all the leaders to be people who cherish the Scriptures. In the Bible, God speaks. We should savor this. We should celebrate this. We should enjoy this. He asked to to commit to daily reading of the Bible in some form, so that as leaders, we would be deeply rooted in Scripture as we lead. It was a simple challenge, but I’m glad he pushed it.

He challenged us to minister to our ministers.

The last thing that came out of our conversation was sort of a side-note, but I thought it was really important. In the course of the conversation, Michelle and I assured Ted of our commitment to supporting him. Michelle and I are not, what you might call, uncritical people. We have a slight cynical streak, and we wanted to make sure that Ted knew that he had our personal support no matter what we might think needed improvement. Ted thanked us for this and went on to explain that as a pastor he needs people to support him, and specifically to minister to him. He needs other leaders around him who can, in a sense, be his pastors, people to ask him how he is doing, to challenge him, to encourage him when things are hard. Not a lot of pastors have that. Many pastors feel very alone. This leads to all sorts of trouble, from exhaustion to depression to strained relationships to sin. I experienced this in my short time as a pastor. Pastors need pastors, just like the rest of us. So, for those of you reading this, if you are leaders in your church, please remember your pastor. Take up the calling to minister to him. Don’t just let him care for your soul, care for his.

All in all, it was a very good visit, and I am glad that Ted is taking active steps to really push those of us who are leaders. Hopefully, we can follow through on his challenges.

(By the way, if you were wondering, I will be posting more on baptism soon.)